Why am I here? What inspires my work? How can I help guide you?
After being married to a narcissist and addict for over 20 years, I found myself in a place of being utterly lost. My needs had been invisible so long, my intuition had lost my trust, I had been living on hope and faith and when that was gone, I could not find my anchor. I felt lost and broken.
The unique processes I take my clients through are the same that saved my own life, and have been specifically sequenced to allow the nervous system to accept the positive growth for permanent “inside out” change.
Sounds a little dramatic, doesn't it? Here's the quick story - after my massive trauma experience, which revealed to me a lifetime of repeat trauma, I went into complete shock. I could not breathe. You'll often hear my saying: The best thing I ever did was to take one more breath.
For 3 months, my jaw was so clenched and locked, I had to squeeze food between my lips in order to eat. After I was able to eat again, of course. Initially, my appetite turned to nausea every time I thought about eating anything. I couldn't sleep either, all that quiet at night became an invite for my thoughts to become the most violent thought tornadoes. When I did sleep, I woke up curled in a ball of tense muscles, grinding my teeth with jaw and fists clenched. That was July through October. More information kept coming at me, forcing me to re process over and over what my reality now was.
Ah, that denial had been sweet on a certain level. But when the rug was pulled out, and the curtains were fully drawn, truth gave no relief and my entire mind, soul, body and personhood fought to accept its relentless cruelty. I met weekly with two different therapists, and still, here I was, gasping for any little straw of hope I could find.
In November, I saw my Doctor and was given the physical okay. More truths, more reveals followed. And within 4 weeks my body grew a cyst the size of a melon in my stomach. It was so fierce, it also grew to take over my left ovary. I had emergency surgery to remove it that December.
I thought I had a good understanding of the mind/body connection, but this certainly gave me a whole new level of appreciation of how the body responds to trauma. (use this as a reminder to see your doc and check your bloodwork)
In post op, I remember waking up in excruciating pain. They were trying to wake me.
I had no desire to return to awareness.
I remember clearly the moment I decided it would be okay to just go now. The physical pain was fierce, but that wasn't it. I'd always had a high tolerance. What invited me to the other side was my deep disappointment in life. Looking back on over 20 years of being married, realizing now it had been a lie, having lost my hope, and being in this perpetual soul deep state of grief, I saw an out and I wanted to take it.
Until they sent in my daughter. She was only 15 at the time and when I saw her face, I chose to rally. One more time. Two days later I convinced the hospital staff I could go home.
Two years later, I decided to become certified to coach others in similar situations, to not have to go through this process alone. And not have it take so long and be so lonely in the process! In fact, I've built a highly effective 8 week program with all the processes that actually worked for me, leaving all the other "busy" stuff aside. When we want our lives back, we want it back now. We don't want to feel good for an hour and already be crashing back down by the time we get home. That's how I felt anyway. Every time I asked for more help, I was told this was it. Do the process (- whose process?) and 4 months in to my "recovery", I was about to give up my life out of sheer exhaustion from the grief and disappointment and loss of hope.
SO I have developed my proprietary 8 week program. No bandaids. I believe in change that lasts a lifetime and does not mask or numb.
IN ADDITION to that program, I'm so very pleased to announce I'm offering bits and pieces RIGHT HERE - along with some new materials. I'm so excited to be offering the AWAKEN TO YOUR YOU coaching program and hope this allows me to broaden my healing message to even more people. To YOU.
I've incorporated an easy to use referral program as well, offering you and a friend 25% off your first month. My hope is that you'll watch the videos, do the homework I'll be providing, and take this journey toward a deeper wholeness and emotional wellness than you imagine one step at a time, in a way your nervous system will be primed to receive as we continue the work.
It's time to take your YOU off the shelf, wipe the dust, and see YOU more clearly and with more appreciation than ever before.
This can be your time now. This can be your moment. Subscribe to the program and let's get your journey started.
Ready? Good! Hit the subscribe button and I'll see you on the other side.
Sending love and courage for your journey,
ps Send any questions or even special requests to theArtofOnward@gmail.com.